G D7 G C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G D7sus4 Well, I took me a woman late last night G C/G G C/G G I was three-fourths drunk, she looked alright D7sus4 'Til she started peelin' off her onion-gook G C/G G She took off her wig, an' said, "How do I look?" C/G G C/G G I was high-flyin' C/G G C/G G Bare-naked C/G G D7 C/G G C/G G Out the window D7sus4 Well, sometimes I might get drunk C/G G Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk D7sus4 Don't hurt me none, it don't hurt my pride G C/G G 'Cause I got my little lady right by my side C/G G C/G G She's-a tryin' to hide C/G G D7sus4 C/G G C/G G C/G G Pretendin' she don't know me D7sus4 I's out there paintin' on the old woodshed G C/G G When a can of black paint it fell on my head D7sus4 I went down to scrub and rub C/G G C/G G But I had to sit in back of the tub C/G G D7sus4 Cost a quarter C/G G C/G G C/G Half-price D7sus4 Well, my telephone rang, it would not stop G C/G G It's President Kennedy callin' me up D7sus4 He said, "My friend Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?" G C/G G I said, "My friend John, Brigitte Bardot C/G G C/G G Anita Ekberg C/G G C/G G Sophia Loren C/G G D7 C/G G C/G G C/G G Country-O-Grow" D7sus4 Well, I got a woman four feet short C/G G C/G G She yells and hollers and screams and snorts D7sus4 She tickles my nose pats me on the head C/G G C/G G Rolls me over and kicks me outta bed C/G G C/G G She's a man-eater C/G G C/G G Meat-grinder D7sus4 C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G Bad loser D7sus4 Oh, there ain't no use in me workin' all the time C/G G I got a woman who works herself blind D7sus4 Works up to her britches, up to her neck C/G G Writes me letters and sends me checks C/G G C/G G She's a humdinger C/G G D7sus4 C/G G C/G G C/G G Folk singer D7sus4 Late one day in the middle of the week C/G G Eyes were closed, I was half asleep D7sus4 I chased me a woman up the hill C/G G C/G G Right in the middle of an air raid drill C/G G C/G G I jumped the fallout shelter C/G G C/G G I jumped the string-bean C/G G C/G G I jumped the TV dinner C/G G D7sus4 C/G G C/G G I jumped the shotgun D7sus4 Now, the man on the stand, he wants my vote C/G G He's a-runnin' for office on a ballot note D7sus4 He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple C/G G C/G G Tellin' me he loves all kinds of people C/G G C/G G He's eatin' bagels C/G G C/G G He's eatin' pizza C/G G D7 C/G G C/G G C/G G He's eatin' chitlins D7sus4 Oh, I set me down on the television floor C/G G I flipped the channel on to number four D7sus4 Out of the shower comes a football man C/G G C/G G With a bottle of oil in his hand C/G G C/G G C/G G Greasy kid stuff D7sus4 But what I want to know, Mr. Football Man C/G G C/G G C/G G Is what do you do about Willy Mays? C/G G C/G G Martin Luther King? C/G D7sus4 C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G Oula Tunjee? D7sus4 Well, the funniest woman I ever seen G C/G G Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean D7sus4 She takes about fifteen baths a day C/G G Wants me to grow a mustache on my face C/G G C/G D7sus4 C/G G C/G G C/G G She's insane D7sus4 Well, ya ask me why I'm drunk all the time C/G G C/G G It levels my head and eases my mind D7sus4 I just walk along and stroll and sing C/G G C/G G I'll see better days and I'll do better things C/G G C/G G I'll catch dinosaurs C/G G C/G G Make love to Elizabeth Taylor C/G G C/G G C/G D7sus4 C/G G C/G G Catch hell from Richard Burton
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